She did great! My W even asked for pictures, which I took.
I'm feeling pretty good. I honestly prayed today that I wouldsee some reason to continue, to know that this is what I was supposed to do.
My science mind is telling me that I conditioned myself to find anything to exagerate today...in an effort to feel good. It's like thinking of what you want to dream of before you fall asleep...then you dream of it.
My religious side is saying it is a sign. The fact that I have nothing terribly tangible to grab onto in regards to my interactions with my wife today has no logical reason to make me feel good, or bad. But today, because of the other little things that happened, esspecially with my oldest daughter...I feel good.
God or Endorphines, I will take it today. Tomorrow will be another day filled with ups and downs, but I will enjoy the "high" tonight.
There is something about watching a little kid get up in front of church and sing "Jesus Loves Me" that melts your heart. She is just a sponge when it comes to church and she's asking so many great questions.
My oldest D (11) is asking the same sort of tough questions I asked in 5th grade, that ultimately led to me being kicked out of confirmation classes on many occasions (the gall of a kid asking where black people came from, or why being Gay is "worse" than eatting shrimp, which are both listed as sins in Leviticas).
It's a great expereince, and I am so glad that we went back to church.
The fact that my wife seemed sad today, rather than angry, is actually secondary. But it is what is keeping me focused, and more energized to make this work...but I also know this is the week we are supposed to file for divorce.
Expect a rollercoaster of posts this week. I will thank you now, for the support I am sure you will share when I need it this week.
