Thanks BT, I've not tried Flexeril but I will check it out.
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Whoa, it's been a week from hell. My back, work, the weather, finances, horses, but a nicer ending!
I was working with a couple of guys to bring a catastrophe back together late this afternoon and H called me at work. I had to do one of the things that bugs me the most when I call people, and that's talk to people next to me while still talking on the phone to H. I just think that's so very disrespectful to all involved.
Anyway, H called to talk about something that had just happened and let me know and what he thought about it and that he was basically having a bad day. We talked a few minutes but then he realized I was in the middle of something important and said "I'll let you go I was just calling to vent to somebody". Ok folks, in my book that's HUGE. H is reaching out to me to talk and vent and include me in his day. Like he used to. Baby steps?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Ahhh, I said something about when he was using you as a gopher, it was merely an excuse to reach out to you...... See, See, voila! He's inched his head out a bit more, realizing he is reaching out to you....
What was it that you just said to me? Hmmm, I know, time and patience are on your side......
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
A little more....H swung in last night and asked me to ride along to his last appointment. We had easy conversation on the drive. How nice! So different from the 'mid' years when we'd drive for 17 hours and have nothing to say.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Gosh, have we been on here this long, going back to '05-'06?
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Naw, he's on his way back in from out deep past the horizon. He just hasn't been able to put his thoughts into words yet.
Oh sure, he could get spooked and run back out, but I believe he knows what he wants... but he has to make peace with what he has done, he still wonders how anyone can forgive him for what he has done...... He needs to learn how to accept or forgive himself first, before seeking and accepting forgiveness.
It will be a while yet, and the road will have a few hidden bumps and occasional rockiness, but WCW knows how to ride......
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
MG, we have been here a long time. My sitch started more than 18 months before I even got here. Makes ya wonder if we're sane.... or not!!
Quote:
Oh sure, he could get spooked and run back out, but I believe he knows what he wants... but he has to make peace with what he has done, he still wonders how anyone can forgive him for what he has done...... He needs to learn how to accept or forgive himself first, before seeking and accepting forgiveness.
So well put! H holds grudges too, and things I did when ow had him hooked on her finger weren't so nice and justified or not I am sure prolonged things. We have a very long bumpy trail ahead of us but I am feeling like at least we are getting to where we are at the same trailhead to start.
One thing to vent (only one! haha) - this last week was ow's birthday. I don't remember the exact date anymore but I think it was the one night that H came home late. I'm not saying he was or wasn't out with her, but I wouldn't doubt there was some sort of party at her barn with a group of friends. That would seem pretty normal, and it would be abnormal if H wasn't included.
So....H just left on his annual hunting trip but this time he is not hunting. He is just taking time to visit with kids and grandkids, rest and recover his sore body from the physical work he does. I know he deserves and needs time away but being self employed he doesn't make money on vacation either and his bills keep piling up. Maybe soon we'll be able to start tackling that dilemma.
Yesterday we spent a lot of time talking about a lot of things, but no R talk. Actually, I listened a lot while H talked. It was real nice! I also opened up to H about some family issues that he was surprised to hear, and it felt good to have a sounding board.
We also went to the cell phone store so H could take advantage of my work discount. He is finally losing the anger enough to have some sense to save some cents! Then we had a wedding to attend for a gal that calls us her adopted parents. H stayed pretty close and we laughed with friends and had a good time.
Ok, it's been a short night. Think I'll go back to bed for a couple hours.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I understand the need to vent, but by now, you also know that we make more of the ow/om than there usually is.... secondly, it may have been just a coincidence that he was late on a particular night.... HE STILL CAME HOME! I'm not saying he didn't stop by a drink either, or a happy birthday wish, we won't know..... so as I've already hinted at, the focus will be that he came home all week, regardless of what week it was.
This is something you already know, and as it seems you have already decided, I'm just going over the same ground, to make sure it's nice and firm.
You are doing a lot of talking, and that is remarkable, so there's no R talk, but the best Rs come from a steady base, one built on friendship, and that's what you are making... the rest will come, in time, and unfortunately, you don't get to decide when it will get there..... but that's why all the previous lessons on patience.... and giving up control.... and acceptance.
Laughing, ahhh, now, that says it all... they say laughing helps the healing process.... it's good for the soul.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
he has to make peace with what he has done, he still wonders how anyone can forgive him for what he has done...... He needs to learn how to accept or forgive himself first, before seeking and accepting forgiveness.
I think this describes where he is very well. Wish I could corner the market on the pixie dust that makes it move along a little faster, but everything in its own time.
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
It's been awhile since I've posted her, but just had to let you know how tickled I am that you've had some really positive things going on with your H. My wish for you is that they will continue until all that anger he's had is gone, and he again can see you as the beautiful bride of his youth, and cherish you more than he ever did before.
Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible
