After 30 Years!

[Eskimo Nell]

Rabbit - I'm pleased that you are enjoying a bit of 'you' time - IMHO you have been burning the candle at both ends with all that's going on at home, with S having swine flu and with all the wonderful DB'ing to get H to come to you. You have done a superb job so far.

Now, I feel that you are right - it's time to rest a wee while. It is time to go nc and discover if that brings H out of his fog .... he has seen the changes, he doesn't need to be told. He is playing you and you are responding. I think that it's time to stop and let him do some of the work, just as you have outlined. When he hears nothing from you, his brain will start ticking over and wonder where you are .... that will lead him to other thoughts and start 'noticing' the changes that you have made of late, not having to ask what they are.

Again, imho, I wonder if our changes are so much for US, that the WAH does not see the changes through his haze ... that means that, to an extent, we are getting it so very right - it is a PERSONAL change and not one that is directed at H. However, we ladies have turned it up a bit with the lingerie and sassy hair, so is it that these WAHs develop some kind of blindness to add to their narcissistic tendancies?! Sorry, I'm being a bit provocative now!

If reconciliation is possible, it's OK for us LBSs to make half of the running but that should be it - 50/50. Unless you achieve that, I guess that the next question is, "Is it worth it?"

I like that H considered breakfast away from the house. It's something that has never been done much in the UK, as far as I am aware. It's big here in Aus and something that my H and I missed out on doing ... there was always an excuse (usually from me) not to go and now I regret that. It's so sociable and with the ocean in your front room at most of the cafés on the strip, it's a crime to have been missing out.

So, take out your vengeance on that saddle and madam's mane and I would make preparation for going nc. I wouldn't go too deep as that may seem churlish to H but you need to go deep enough to make a statement of your intent.

Hang on in there Rabbit ... you have seen some dramatic improvements since you arrived here and I don't think that you should lose faith at this time. There's a crucial time on it's way for your H, in terms his rental, and you need to be clever in maintaining silence balanced with still reeling him in so that he finds the prospect of extending his contract that little bit less attractive every day.

Will check in later - I have to get C6 in before I go to work and she is over the woods playing a merry dance, I'm sure!!