Hell, I was the Queen of Anxiety early on. Some of the things that helped me was to make a concious effort to stop obsessing and I mean stop. I believe it is addressed in detail in DB, but when you find yourself obsessing, literally picture a big red Stop Sign. Crude, but effective.
Next, don't say let the thoughts just pop down from your head and out your mouth like a gumball machine. If you find yourself reacting to something your H says or does or some way that you have freaked yourself out--don't say anything right then.
Sit with what you want to say for a day while you examine WHY you are freaking out. What got triggered in you? After some self-examination, if you still feel that you need to say something...sit with it for another day.
Ask yourself if what you want to say will get you closer to your goal or farther away from it. Is what you want to say going to sound panicky and pleading? Reword it. Is what you want to say likely to put your H on the defensive or feel blamed? Reword it.
P.S. I'm sure that others here will have some other great suggestions.
