I'd like to ditto everything Optimist told you. Patience and detachment will go a long way in not driving your H away. The more you persue and overreact, the more he will want to pull away--a self-perpetuating kind of misery, isn't it?
You sound like you are having a lot of anxiety over anything that isn't fixed or resolved immediately. Yhink of this process as a very LONG haul. What you can do right now is get a life and try to be your H's friend--to the extent he is comfortable with.
