Church was good today. I just have a tough time staying positive. I am continuing to work on it.
My W is picking up the kids for a few hours today to take them to lunch. I will run up by a buddies place for a few drinks and the early NFL game. Gotta keep GALing, and honestly, when I am feeling down, like today, it helps more than anything else.
There is a really good Christian rock song that I heard today called "While I'm waiting" it's part of the fireproof soundtrack. It's pretty good.
I had a quote that I posted a while back that said "Patience is easy when you have something to do in the meanwhile". That song is about just that.
While I am waiting, I will continue to work on everything positive in my life, let it take up the space that I allowed negative habits to come into. I get my guitar on Tuesday...so that is something to look forward to. My 11 yo D hates it when I say "I can't wait to Jam with you", she thinks the word "Jam" is very uncool for her dad to use, so I keep using it :-)
This is the last weekend I have my kids for the next three weeks. My W has them next weekend, but the following weekend, they have a family wedding to attend with her, then the following weekend is hers again. I basically have an IOU for when I want them for 3 or 4 days sometime. Our kids aren't commodities though, if there is an event in their family (which encompasses both my wife's family and my family), then they need to go. It's a chance for me to GAL like never before...and I will.
Ah, crap. I need something positive to happen. The more God gives you, the more he expects from you. I will never wish that I didn't have everything that I do have, but the expectations from God are sure pretty high.
This is supposed to be the week we file for divorce. There are certainly many things standing in the way of that right now. We'll have to see. Taking things moment by moment makes me realize that Wed, Thurs and Friday are MANY moments away yet.
Like Mother Theresa said, "I know God will never give me more than I can handle...I just wish he didn't trust me so much".
