You want it and you want it now. Sorry to be blunt but if you do not curb your impatience and give him a little space it is him who is going to quit, not you. You cannot pretend to undo in 1 week all that has been going on for the life of your R.

There are NO quick fixes. This is not for wimps. The problem as I see it is that if you leave now and look for another R that will be perfect, you will find another R but it will not be perfect. There is not such a thing as the perfect R or perfect love. Only God is perfect (if you believe in him).

You have to realize that it is YOUR JOB to make yourself happy, not your family's not your H's. You have to learn to love yourself and enjoy your own company before you can attempt to change anything in your R. Your H will eventually realize you have changed and your R may be repaired, but that is not the point. The point is to make you a better person For your own sake.

Another thing I get from your posts is the extremes of happiness and despair. Do you have any problems with depression? You may want to consult your doctor. This extreme emotional lability is pretty typical of what we are going through and there are medications that can help to take the edge of the suffering (do not stop them cold turkey, though).

I am sorry if I sound rough or uncaring. I am not, but being a mother I know that you have to tell things as they are. I have needed the 2 x 4 myself

"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little" Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"