Newbie (again)

[dday101798]

And so, I survived.

The virus instilled in version 1.1 was not all that hostile. Started the weekend by going out with my cousin and her girlfriend Friday night for some pizza and beers, lol, when we came back home we both passed out on her friend, pretty funny, yeah we're not 'big people' any more. My cousin is a pretty habitual beer drinker too, and now that I'm absentee from that practice during the weeek, that has slowed her up, which is good.

Funny, her grilfriend always has her hair tied up in some weird fasion or another which makes her look like 5 years older than she really is. I know at some point Friday night I wanted to make a comment about it as I can't stand when good looking people do silly things to their hair and make them look funny. I must have, because at the end of the night it was down, as well as the next morning when she stopped by for a few minutes.

Anyway, then there was yesterday, the "big day". I did my 45 minute tribute for probably the final time. I slipped only once and sent XW a picture text ofmy champaigne glass and the bottle side by side, with the caption "wish it were the same". I reflected on only the good times, for the most part, and it was nice to burst out in laughter amongst the tears.

Never heard one lick from XW, nothing. Only a random call and text from S12 Friday night that sounded completely rehearsed.

So, that says it all for me. That ship has done set sail. I wish her well on her endeavors, but it is seriously time to close up the harbor in my heart to no longer be her port of call. She doesn't want it anyway. Goodness, you think she'd take 5 seconds out of her busy new life to acknowledge a great life we had, or at leasst so I thought it was.

I did something for myself, all be it stupid, at 4:15 wehn time was up, I put my ring on and wore it until exactly 10:17pm, then put it away. Ironically, the hinge on my ring box exploded when I closed it up. Huh, omen?

So, it's done and over. I'm gong to request the psych help me just shue XW out of mind once and for all on Tuesday. It's time. I've always been about the stats with this thing. The 6 month stat that the WAS would start to get confused was dead on. And I think even the amount of months seperated compared to years together was there too. But now, it's well exceeded and now, it truly is what is, and there's no fixing this. Thus, I need the psych to get in me head and find that last little par of me that still holds out hope for some dumb reason and dispose of it once and for all.