You have a decision to make. And I don't want to sound cold, but here it goes. You can either stay where you are, mired in the emotions that no one blames you for having or you can pick yourself up, bruises and all, dust yourself off, and decide right now to stop focusing on anything except you and your kids.
Regardless of what your spouse chooses to do, you must become reliant on yourself for your happiness. If you allow your happiness to depend upon your spouse's moods and actions, you will not be emotionally healthy. If you are not emotionally healthy, you will not be able to maintain a happy, healthy R with anyone.
I know you are hurting and I know your world has been turned upside down. But the time has come for you to take back control over your life.
It may seem hard, but you can do this.
Good advice for many, many people here on this board.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
