Problems after the affair...Rebuilding

[saffie]

WDID,

I have read a lot of your posts on here and have always felt great respect for the way you are fighting for your M.

When it comes to the question of OM making contact and whether to tell your H or not, I feel that by not telling your H you are treating him like a child. Who are you to censor what knowledge he has - surely the truth is the best? If I found out that OW had contacted my H and he had not told me- even if he had not responded to her - I would be out the door. If he told me I would feel happier as I would know that he was being open with me; I KNOW that it would be hard for my H to tell me that but I would feel respect for him that he had the balls to do it.

The divide between those who think you should admit the contact and those that don't seems to fall between those who have been betrayed and those who have betrayed - can you see that? If you are thinking about your H then tell him the truth. The fact that it is an issue at all with you, and that you did not just discuss it with your H immediately, signals warning bells to me.