Long Journey .......... advice please

[Sanderika]

Cas,

Of course this is a shot in the dark......

We are really not sure of the goings on through their minds......

I think H is at a place where he is perhaps analyzing what you are doing. The NC, upbeat, got-it-altogether Cas is not what he expected to run into.

I think he is "proceeding with caution". I kind of see him behaving like he is walking into the woods after dark.

I think his words "I didn't come in to visit because I wasn't sure you wanted me to" is something to work on. This says volumns. H has realized a consequence. The consequence he is seeing is that Cas can manage without me. Cas is getting things done without me. Cas is happy without me. Cas is moving on. Maybe Cas doesn't want/need me in her life anymore. Maybe this is the end of the road for us.

I realize this is an image and your wants and preferences would be the opposite.

I think you can use this to your advantage. I think you already are. I think this could be a perfect chance to change your sitch.

I would be more engaging with H when he's around. Invite him inside with a smile and warmth. Offer him a drink or snack. Engage him in a conversation all about him and his interests and job. Be green grass.....Stroke his ego....tell him he looks nice or how nice it is to see him. Cas, reach out to him.....

Invite him out again for a beach walk, walk in the direction of a coffee shop or pub.

Men also like to feel needed. They want to be the hero. They are problem solvers. When the next real problem creeps up, call H for advice or solicit his help.

Test the waters here.....

I hear all your concerns. I have thought about them all. My sitch was a bit different. In the beginning and until about a year ago my H wouldn't do a thing for me. He on occasion now will offer help.

It's all just thoughts....hope I have helped.

Have a great week, (((((Cas))))).

Sanderika