Don't want it to look that I'm taking over her thread, but I knew there must have been "trigger" words for you in her post. You are a Newcomer, so it is easy to react to some particular post. But I appreciate the fact that you brought up this:
Quote:
I do think it may be important to really take some time and reflect on the things that allowed for an A to happen in the first place, for not only a WAS, but for all of the LBS as well. This isn't about finding fault or blame, but about understanding what was going on that allowed the M to be less than A-proof.
I don't know about other WAW's, but for me.....my problem is reading things LBH's say that make them sound like they were almost angelic.....or a few will say that they were "less than perfect"...or...."made a few mistakes". Most of the H's (not all) slide over what those mistakes were or make it sound as if it didn't amount to any great degree. He fails to mention how many years W tried to talk to him. He keeps the spotlight on "her" sins. I've read posts on this board where some men have called WAW's about every name they could and not be censored. I don't see that kind of post from LBW's. LBW's are hurt and they talk with a different "sound" in their posts. Some of the LBH's sound like they want to lump all WAW's together in the same pot, then tar & feather them and tie them to a horse and run them out of town. Then there are some who aren't as aggressive. They just think we need to branded with a huge "A" on our forehead! So, anyway, thanks for coming back to say what you did.
I want to get back on the subject of how to give suggestions to this friend of ours who was on this board before....and did a jam-up good job in helping many LBH's know what to do with their WAW's. Now it is her turn to be helped.
Those of you men who want your WAW to return home....what would she need to do in in the "after the affair problems"?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
