Hope and heartache

[ClingingToHope]

Spent the afternoon at a swim meet with D10, while D7 headed to W's house to get her head checked for lice again.

After meet -- 4 1/2 hours, yikes -- we just vegged out at the apartment. Right now, one is downstairs watching TV and one is upstairs watching TV. I'm going to put them to bed in a couple of minutes.

While we were in the same room, I reread the chapters in DR on Mid Life Crisis and Depression.

The similarities with my W are all there. I won't run through them all. Essentially, MWD is saying the only way to save my marriage is to focus on myself and have patience that someday -- not soon -- but someday WAW will figure out our M is worth saving.

At the beginning, she says, there are no guarantees. I can follow all the advice to a T and we may still get divorced.

Still, it gives me more to think about. A week ago I was very psyched to give W a letter offering her a low-cost divorce. Now, especially after reading several letters at the end of the book, I'm leaning toward letting the winter play itself out.

One thing I will definitely change is enabling her. The next time the girls get sick or need to be picked up, unless it's my day with them, it's her responsibility. I have to stick to that. And if she pulls the "leave the 10-year-old home alone" thing again I have to call her on that as well.

So I need to have patience and get tougher.

Time for bed.