Ok, that was only 10 days ago, and already things are a lot better! I've been acting happy most of the time, not crying or causing any fights, and being accepting of H. He is going out tonight with the guys. I get anxious when he goes out w/his friends. I know deep down that he won't cheat on me, but I get jealous-jealous that he is getting all spiffy to go out and that he's having fun. He has many more single friends to hang out with than I do.
H has not been much of an initiator in the ML department. He says that is b/c he feels pressured, and that the tears turn him off. At times I have cried b/c he didn't "act" like he wanted me. So, I have backed off a lot, and guess what!!! He initiated twice this week, and last night was mutual. I figured, I could let him know that I want him too.
He's been much more affectionate. Still no ILY or I care, and no sweet phone calls, but, I figure it will come back in time. Last night I told him I loved his being more affectionate & he just said, "mm hmmm." I know he is thinking, "I told you so! This is what I've been telling you for 3 1/2 years!!!" But, he doesn't.
I guess I'm in piecing now b/c we never split up, but he has been close for a while. We went camping in July with mixed co. -one girl I got really jealous about early in the R. He told his mom if I couldn't handle it, then he was done. Well, I handled it beautifully!
I know I need to not push him, no R talk, no "expectations," no crying, no jealousy. I have been acting more independent and doing more of my own thing, and being somewhat aloof. He even acted like he missed me one night!
Weekends are hardest for me. It's been 11 days since my last upset. I've never made it past 3 weeks. 2 weeks a couple times.
