That sounds great! Definately, do not pressure the situation and let your X steer things for a bit. I would say he is warming up tho. I'm so happy to hear this!
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Thanks, I am so happy about this too! I hope it lasts and leads to a full reconciliation one day. Tonight he invited me in to see our son's new playstation game he just bought and we played it for a while (laughing and joking too)...then read a book with our boy and then we left. I have pretty good instincts, and it seemed to me that when it was time to leave this night, I felt like my Ex had had enough together time, after the movie Sun and tonight, so I felt like maybe he needed some time to himself. Not like he was tired of seeing us, but like overload or something. Can't really describe it, it was just a feeling I had. Thanks for talking to me, it's really nice to vent to others in the same type of sitch.
. I have pretty good instincts, and it seemed to me that when it was time to leave this night, I felt like my Ex had had enough together time, after the movie Sun and tonight, so I felt like maybe he needed some time to himself. Not like he was tired of seeing us, but like overload or something. Can't really describe it, it was just a feeling I had.
Suffice it to say, I think your instincts are right. Like I said, let him steer the ship for a while. But, all in all, this sounds very positive. Except on one front. Expectations. I know you want to fix what was broken and are persuing the possiblity of reconcilling and that is great. Just don't set yourself up with the expectation of doing so. Take it one day at a time, much like this is a whole new potential relationship (because in a weird reality, it is). That's what I would be most comfortable with my X if given the chance.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Thank you again dday, I know, hard not to "expect".... when we're all together, it just feels so normal. But I'm very aware of how I present myself and this is all good, but if he Really decides (hopefully) that we can be a family in one house, we'll probably have some work to do. What is kind of nice, however is that there is the excitement of a "new R" here. I'm learning more about patience...not my strong point. I'll keep you posted : )
Since things are going well, I was just wondering, and I'm probably way ahead of myself here but, what would convince my ExH to want to live in the same house again when things can go well as they are now, if it continues, forever!
, what would convince my ExH to want to live in the same house again when things can go well
TIME!!!
That is all, nothing more, nothing less, dear precious sweet time.
I know it's exciting and all and going well, but if I were your XH, I'm not sure how I'd react if I had any inkling of this giddiness or train of thought, so tread very carefuly and very slowly. When that time passes, let HIM be the one to ponder that question, K?
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
It will take him a while. You hurt him deeply when you left and if I were him I would not come back too quickly either. You need to show him that you can be trusted again and that takes TIME. You are getting great advise here.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
I know, but TIME takes sooo long! This time of year coming up is probably going to be weird too because I have a bday in November. Then the Holidays hit and I don't know how we'll handle those. This year the kids go to their Dad's on the Holidays and both of my parents have passed away, so I'll most likely be hanging home alone. Don't get me wrong, alone isn't bad any other time of year! I'm okay with my own time and independence, just like to have a lot of people around on the Holidays.
Soooo, today brought my s to his soccer game, Ex showed up too. He seemed a little wierd, don't know why? We had tentative plans to take our s to get pumpkins. It's always been a "family" tradition of mine and the Ex is well aware of that, of course. But when the game was over we talked a bit and then he said his goodbye, said he had plans to see a mutual friend of ours (they actually play music together). That was fine, but when we tentatively planned on something depending on the weather, and the weather held out, I just get confused when there's no follow through and no pre discussion. Even our s was asking why we weren't going.
I was kind of uncomfortable with how we left it so what did I do? I texted my Ex and said, that I know he's busy and maybe my traditions aren't his and that if he'd rather go with just he and our s and I can go with my s and I separately that was ok, and I'd just work on letting our s know that.
I got a call in response and he just said we'd have to look at the weather and try and go on a good day because he knew it was important to our s that we both go, and then he invited me to a Halloween party at a mutual friends house that he was planning on bringing our s to next weekend. I was shocked! I was cool, said I'd like to go, that I know our s likes to see us together and if that makes him happy then that's what I'm all about. He is my focus and all I'm trying to do is the Right thing.
