A, I'm very sorry to come here this evening and read your posting. I am so very sorry for your loss. Your h knew deep down, that you and your children loved him very deeply. Know that you did everything possible to help him.
A, please continue to post here. You will need our support in the months to come. Your journey is not yet over.
Again, I am truly sorry. Sending you and your family warm hugs and prayers.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.