First, givingitmyall, congratulations. I am glad to hear she is making steps toward you.
I need advice.
I've listed all the reasons why I think this is working. Clearly, I want my W back and my posts here allow those feelings to be visible. I don't show this side to her, if I can at all help it.
Today she had to pick up our daughter to be fitted for a wedding dress for a family wedding that is on halloween. I'm obviously not going. My wife is matron of honor and our oldest D is minature bride.
I am not looking forward to that weekend. First, it is my weekend with the kids, so I won't have them 4 of the 7 days I am supposed to. She has offered to switch days to make up for this, but I told her that there will be a time when I will want them for a family event, so we can just do an "i owe you" for the wedding.
Second, this wedding is for my family. It's my wife's biological family, but they have been my family for 15 years. The cousin who is getting married even lived with us for a while. It's tough to be "not invited".
Back to my point...when she picked up my daughter today, my daughter told me "mom asked how you were doing, that is good, right?". Now, we try to keep the kids out of this as much as possible, but an 11 year old is smart. She's trying. I said, "that was nice of mom, and we both still want the other to be happy, so she was just wondering how I was feeling".
My daughter did tell her "I was fine".
I'm sort of in a daze again today. Yet another day were I only want to focus on my kids and I find myself looking around the house, realizing all the potential, the future, that is now gone.
I know...doom and gloom. The kids are mostly napping right now. I raked a big pile of leaves earlier, so when they wake we have some fun planned, but it is when it is quiet, after the kids go to bed, when they nap, etc... that things are the hardest.
Givingitmyall, I am glad to hear things seem to be improving for you. I can't wait until the day, hopefully, I can post that I got something more from my wife than a handshake.
This Wed. is the day she wanted my part of the paperwork done. It will be. Time will tell, right?
There is a saying "Patience is easy, when you find something to do in the meanwhile". When I am away, I have been sucessful in doing that (GALing), but when I am with the kids, they are your life...and I love that, but it is not nearly the same without my wife...and I miss her more.
So, what I am I asking for, I did start by saying I need advice....
Well, I watched Fireproof again last night and I really like the movie. I see some similarities to DBing, but there are some glaring differences too. Obviously, I can be patient, hold my tongue (no snide remarks) around her, but have either of you (or anyone else reading) figured out how to do both?
How does the WAS see the changes you are making if you hardly ever see eachother?
