So, do I read correctly that you have been dating the same woman for most of a year, yet you claim you want your W back? I'm having a little trouble tuning in that picture. It's not fair to you, your W, or your woman friend. If you are done with W, then no problem. But you can't have it both ways.
You do need to find your way out of your current state. I like to use the phase "moving forward", rather than "moving on". "Moving on" is moving away from something. It strikes me as a negative action. "Moving forward" is moving to the rest of your life. Whatever that might be. It might include W, it might not.
It sounds to me like you are using too much energy worrying about what she is doing, and not nearly enough worrying about what you are doing. Based on a couple paragraphs, I don't see why W (or anyone else) would find you attractive as you are now. But, the good news is, you can fix that! Every day, what can you do to make yourself a better person? It doesn't have anything to do with W, just you. Once you are the person you want to be, then you can start to think about what you want your future to look like.
I think what's hurting you now is that you don't like yourself. Well, until you do, it's going to be pretty hard for anyone else to like you. I think you should drop the GF, stop worrying about your W, and start taking care of yourself. Find yourself first.
