Summer 2009

[Between Tears]

Yes, I did notice you said house, for there is a big difference between a house and a home......

I hadn't thought about the ambient stress, and all I can say is wow.... you're right, there always was a great deal of stress when Dick was around, even before things went down. The kids and I often talked about it, after his departure, and they both would say how much better things were in our home, even though they missed having a Dad.

Yeah, the rhythmic chew, and how amazing it would sound when a horse would stomp the flies off, I swear I could hear it deep into the earth. I love the smell of horses, well, as long as he/she hadn't been rolling in some soured hay or grass..... I love that musky smell I find around their mane.

But of course, I love the smell of rain washed air, diesel and dirt, as in when the ground is being tilled for the next planting, puppy breath, the way the earth smells around the equinox and the worms are turning the soil and/or leaves in the fall. Babies and clean laundry... Yep, I'm the weirdo in the laundry isle who smells all the laundry detergent and liquid softeners before settling in on a set to buy. And no, I like to have different smell for different parts of the year...... and yes, I know make things more difficult for myself.

I have a whole list of sounds too, like children's laughter, I will stop everything and anything I'm doing, just to suck up every bit of it, for it fills my heart with joy..... and no, I don't have to know the child/children to find it special. Those frogs who sing at night at the earliest signs of Spring.... even though it may be too cool yet to leave my window open, I will, because it's as if they are promising better days ahead.

Ahh well, I could go on, as I'm sure you have your own lists too.