I don't know the exact age of the OW, but I believe she may actually be older than STBXH. When I did the reverse lookup on the phone number, it gave her age to be between 50-54. I know she has been D'd from the minister for 20 years and has several grown children........ she's a paragon......an female STBXH.
And she did not supposedly get with STBXH until the beginning of this year when he told me he wasn't going to come home to "try again" as agreed after the 6 month seperation....... I know he had dated her (her sister was trying to fix them up from day one), but they "didn't get serious" until after we were "done" (or rather he was "done" with me). I believe she is why STBXH didn't keep his promise to try again. The Secretary he had an EA/"one time" PA with was 28. I think he hoped to get with her, but she just did him and dumped him...... but here was this other woman who was available so he continued on his merry way (away from me). So, now he's with her and he can say he "didn't leave me for another woman".....he gets to pretend he's the stand up guy..... He says GF doesn't know about the secretary, and my S18 says that they have all "hung out" together!!
Last edited by Silent Chrleader; 10/16/0901:19 AM.
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
SC I see Your H OW is the 2nd one I guess there is a fine line in dating D men or STBD men
I am feeling frustrated today not sure I would like to pin it on the fact that XH is so unavailable and uses the kids as a pawn to get at me so sick isnt it to spend your life getting back at someone especially since he is the one who left I dont have to explain myself anymore there is nothing to say I guess It would be nice to have a amture dependable XH who could be trusted with care of kids instead I have to rely on babysitters and my 14 year old to help I guess I need to be grateful just one of those moments it will pass thanks peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
They have let us down in so many ways. It is normal to get frustrated. No one likes to get dumped and betrayed. Hang in there, like a lot of what we have experienced, it passes.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Yes, my H is with OW #2. I used to think that I should hold a grudge with her because H told her sister (and her I'm sure) that we were seperated and in C (he didn't tell them that it wasn't MC!). Well, I think that they think that he "gave it the college try" through year of C to no avail, and then when he decided he wasn't going to keep his promise to come home at the end of the six months, that's when he "officially" got with her. I'm sure she told him she wasn't getting with him until our M was through....... but that didn't stop them dating. And her sister began fixing them up the minute she found out about the seperation. I hate them for that!!! It galls me so much!! They are "minister's daughters". F'ing hypocrites is what they are!!!! They provided the catalyst for STBXH to not even be willing work on our M. And I don't know that I will ever get over that one...... I hope I never see either one of them...... I don't know how I would react.
As for wishing your H was "dependable". I hear ya there.....but then, my STBXH is doing well at playing the upstanding guy right now, and it really doesn't make me feel much better! Of course I am eternally grateful for it in one sense, but in another, it hurts because I don't see why we can get along so well and yet not work on the M.......
Anyway, hang in there, peace.
I still wich you would get on th alt so we could connect and maybe call ....... what part of the country are you in?
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
XH apeears to be staying clean and sober coming to work and doing a decent job again but he also continues to try to scam and steal from the business He has no access to money, but he thinks of new ways constantly he has become quite smart to this I really have to stay on my toes and it is sad to see him as this low form of human life a man who is constantly scamming he continues to be only partially and sometimes available for kids I say nothing to him these days except work related information he called yesterday to tell me he got htis new insurance (from wife family business I guess) he was happy and said the kids can get braces ect... I said thanks and hung up Im sure the insurance was really worth the New Marraige to OW so he got a few thing from his MLC Good health insurance from OW a 28 year old OW with cosmtic enhacements
peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Had a huge blowout with xh at work yeaterday regarding ofcourse money
xh regresses to childish tantrums threatening to walk out not doing the days work and jepordizing the business I do not really know the best way to deal with him because if I do not set firm strong boundries regarding the spending of business money which I am carsfully dispersing, xh will try to spend on anything so anytime a new boundry is set..there is a potential for a tantrum I have 2 children and I dont want a third
xh brought up his wife..He said why did I tell her that xh mother did X I said I never said that..Your Wife is Lying to you then it escalated from that I said It doesnt surprize me she wants you to be angry with me ..she F**ks M men..cant really be too trustwortyhy XH said nothing on her behalf which surprized me In the past--if I said anything about her, he would defend her Now I have tried to be careful during this time to never bring her up but every now and agin my truth pours out I dont want xh back I would like a friendship But Im not sure that can happen with us working together because xh wants to spend any business money he can and I am like a guard and have no option here yesterdays fight took everything out of me it was hard looking in XH eyes they look red he looked worn hands trmbling not rational like a 2 year old man who appears to be very mentally unstable I felt scared and sorry for him and also seems like a hopeless situation working with him as these explosions may continue although not daily..monthly I wioll pray thansk fro reading peace so I will continue to pray
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
It is sad when it comes down to having to babysit your ex. This is not what we married for. Try your best not to suck into his drama. He is very very messed up.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
