cutterbug, I have followed along and admire the very sensible and ballsy steps you have taken so far - even before finding this site! I am sorry for the position you find yourself in. I'll be cheering you on, though I may not have much advice since my DB efforts have not succeeded.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
