While it may sometimes feel frustrating or taking too long, or wearing your patience thin, take heart from gag, hpe4us, hope4luv, bunny, me and so many others who follow your efforts and consistently see a sincere, decent guy who is doing the work and working the program to a T.
Your journey, your threads, show sloooow progress, but real progress; sloooow changes, but the right kind; sloooow baby steps but always moving forward. And throughout all this you always greet new DBers to this forum and offer sound advice and sincere encouragement to all.
Whenever you get frustrated, vent here for sure, we're all here for you. But may I suggest also picking a random page on one of you previous posts and threads over the months and marvel at the old, struggling Gima ad the frustrating, seemingly unchanging state of your sitch back then? My guess is you'll feel pretty good about yourself and your current sitch then.
Your IC's right, but I'd consider it re-entering her space (not invading) while keeping watch for any immediate negative reactions and pull right back out fast. Staying then would be a boundary violation. But if you get positive (or no) reaction, staya while and say, "hey, I remember this place, being allowed in like this. This is what I'm working my butt off for: this first step of intimacy- being allowed back in."
And maybe try a bold move for once instead of just baby steps. I dunno. Maybe the next time you're getting on particularly well, gabbing and having fun why not touch her hair and say "shut up and kiss me" with a twinkle in your eye? and move in a bit and see what she does.
Keep going, you ol' tortoise you. You are an inspiration.
And the sleeping arrangements? That will no doubt change. And I'll bet it will be your wife who eventually initiates it.
Sorry to go on and on, but frankly, I follow, root for and try to chime in to so many DBer's here. But with you, it has become praying for and accompanying a friend on his journey.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
