Your post gave me the courage to call her right after reading and tell her the truth about why I was upset last night - heck, it made me tell myself the truth!
I was calm and basically said that in my mind we are still married and when she spends the night with another man it upsets me. She may not care if I did the same, but we are different people in different places in our hearts and minds. I wasn't needy or wimpy - but I was honest with her and to me.
This resulted in another brief covnersation that actually went rather well.
She states this man is just a friend (considering who he is - I believe it) and that she has no interest in pursuing anyone else at this time. To quote "while we are still (just) living together, I have no interest in doing anything after our 21 years together".
So..I made my thoughts and feelings clear, but without begging or pleading. Good for me.
As for the trip, it's more about spending XMAS away with the kids as we do every year. I'm not sure it's the right thing to do, but as long as we are still "playing house" I think there is nothing wrong with going. The trip is not something I am buying to reward her - it's something we are paying for out of family budget for the family. I want and need my XMAS vacation and want to spend it with my kids. For me.
