Today is a good day for letting go. There's plenty of things to do with my life and I'm feeling good about it. One of the positives of doing the financial statement is that I know where I stand and it's possible to get through the financial mess and come out ok on the other side.
I hired housecleaners to clean the house today. They've been here 6 hours and are about 2/3rds done. I almost started to cry as I looked at how long I've been living without enough self respect to keep my house really clean.
Well, I have it now. And that's all that matters.
STBX called me last night to tell me that while she is away on her massage / teacher / spiritual retreat next week from tuesday - sunday that D14 decided she wants to stay with me instead of having D18 go stay with her at the Condo.
She was worried that I would not be able to handle it, I'd drink, freak out, whatever.
I told her that if that was the case I'd have lost it by now as D14 has been emotionally difficult lately. Calmed her down.
More and more lately she has been very emotional. Maybe the 'retreat' will help her out.
You had alot more going on than a need to keep your house clean.
Nothing wrong with getting or hiring help to get you back on the right track.
I am resisting the urge to comment on the crying part...
...
still resisting.
: )
It was just the feeling that I had not been true to my self. Not missing having STBX as a 'housekeeper'. Just realizing I was worth caring for on my own merits.
STBX wasn't that great of a house keeper anyway. It's just one of those weird feelings you get when you realize you aren't taking care of yourself.
And that you have been 'waiting' for something to happen that isn't going to happen.
