You are getting some superb advice from Sandi and Coach. They have helped me more than they will probably ever realize.
A lot of what you will read here and in DR is counter-intuitive. It doesn't seem like it will work, but it can. No guarantee, but if you save your M, I believe it will be through DB'ing. It won't be easy and it will take some time.
You have to stop the pursuit. HAVE TO. This is probably the hardest thing to do early on. But, the more you pursue, the quicker and farther she will run away.
You have to get busy working on you. What needs changing? Identify those areas, then make hte needed changes. Don't tell your W, don't talk about them to her, just live them.
More later, but these are the two most immediate needs I see that you need to address.
