Anger is such a powerful emotion. I believe that you need your C to guide you in how to know healthy ways to channel the anger. I am sure your H needs to know how to do that also. This has to be a huge issue in the M stitch. It was like to cases of high exposive matter and waiting for one tiny spark to set it off.

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With the NC, this means to not be around when he picks up the kids, right? To be like a ghost?


That is the way I see it.

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My C had told me to use those times he comes over to show that I'm doing fine and be all happy and looking great. That didn't seem to work much, so I'll try the NC at those times too.


I know what your C is saying and I agree....however, I think it is too soon for you to be able to carry that off looking as if you are all fine & dandy. You need to get some of this emotional baggage off of your first. Then after a time of NC, you will be able to gradually work in a few minutes here & there of him seeing you looking smoking hot! I love it when the W is looking like that and while the WAH is still standing there with his mouth hanging open and wondering how he could ever have been crazy enough to leave something that looks that good....she gets her purse, smiles her prettiest smile and says, "Well, I have plans for the evening. You all have fun".

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!