Hi Dusk, Hope you are feeling better, sounds like a slow recovery. I hope your pain lessens soon. You are right to take it easy & put your health before H & the M. [quote=PainfulDusk Im staying dark, if he contacts, then fine, but I cant hurt myself anymore by expecting some acknowledgment from him. Thats seems to be a common theme. We say we are going dark but want so much for our S to see that and instantly come running back. When they dont, we get hurt, and handle that pain in whatever way each of us does. If it builds up, then we backslide, again, hurting ourselves. They wont contact until they are ready, not when we are ready. I dont think he is thinking about me, or worried about me, he is distracted by OW. Im sure guilt plays a part in it on his side, but thats not my problem. I know I was very dependent on him for support thru my health issues. I believe that may have helped pushed him away. Im not excusing what he has done, because he really screwed up, but I can see how my own dependence may have scared him. Having a healthy OW is a lot easier than a sick wife. Wow. sry i laughed for some reason at that.
[/quote] I can really relate. What you have written here is pretty much exactly how I'm feeling. At this point its going on a month since any contact from H. No emails, nothing. I'm OK (am on ADs & I think that helps alot!) but also am sad. Last week I found charges on our credit card & checking acct. that indicate he has moved, & I believe he's moved in w OW. So I keep on w no contact, & am going about doing my L paper work, looking into getting own checking acct., separating our cell phone plan etc. etc. I do not expect contact but when it gets me down I come here & look at how others are coping w this. I agree, our Hs are not thinking about us. It's weird, like he's dead or something. Just totally cut himself out of my life. I too have thought alot about things I have done wrong, or wish I did differently. It's really hard sometimes. Please keep taking care of yourself, I'm pulling for you! Hope you have a good weekend! LFA
