I would recommend you and your wife reading the book "Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. At the end of a book are two questionnaires to help you figure out how you most easily 'feel loved"... it could be that you and your wife aren't speaking the right 'love language' to each other..and therefore aren't feeling loved...
Just a thought. Some of what you posted sounded alot like excerpts from the book...
This is the book that I recommend to people if they're only going to read ONE relationship book. It's that good.
