She doesn't love me anymore...or does she?

[Ready2Change]

My understanding is that the A is addicting based on the thrill of the secrecy. So you can choose to learn to be "More sneaky" than the wayward spouse. You get caught, they get sneakier. Example, you find pot in your kids drawer. You confront him. Will he keep the pot in his drawers any more? He will find a better place. You will then look in "better" places. He will smoke pot no matter what you do. You can not control him. He resents the control and will smoke more pot. "YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME" is his subconscious thought process.

You can choose to set boundaries and confront lies. You smell pot when your kid comes in.

"I do not want potheads in my house. Please come home when you are not high"

"I am not high": "I will not tolerate being lied to either"