Thank you for the advice. I do know for 99.99% sure that the OW husband will not be able to stop the A. This is not a affair where the light will extinquish it. They think they are in love, they do not want to be with their spouses or continue their marriages. The OW (and my H) in their slightly askew brains decided it would be less hurtful to let us-their spouses down slowly in steps. ( We are talking months even 1 1/2 years of planning and slowsteps) First just tell them you are unhappy,then tell them their/our efforts to change arent working, that you dont feel love but let them keep trying new activities, planning dates. weight loss,new sex techniques and more but it is "too late" ,then finally tell them you are moving out to "think things over and get your head straight" while you get names of mediators on side. The OW would never choose her H over mine--they work together and text each other 20-30 times a day like teenagers.Telling her H will only remove what they consider the last impediment to their being together sooner (letting him down easily and letting him think it is not about another person)It will definitely speed up divorce filings on both sides.
BNA,
EVERYONE always thinks that on this forum. DO NOT FOR A MOMENT be so sure of this:
Quote:
This is not a affair where the light will extinquish it. They think they are in love, they do not want to be with their spouses or continue their marriages.
Their giddy plans are VERY much "script," and many (not all, but over 50%) flop like a fish when confronted.
To answer your other question, my wife was still living with me in our home, but we barely spoke for days at a time. We'd arranged our schedules so that we could almost completely avoid each other, and still co-parent effectively, and she was in the DEPTH of her affair when I did this re-confrontation.
