Hi Kittyfish, thanks for your insight on this. I checked cell phone records last night, and I didnt see any glaring recurring calls or repeated long conversations to any one number, many of which I recognize. Are you recommending calling any attorney because you don't believe thier is any hope? I have to tell you that I am not ready to throw in the towel, you know?
I checked my wife's cell phone as well and found nothing unusual. I am not so concerned about a current affair but her possibly having an affair now that our marriage is struggling.
Here is what my wife told me the other day in an email when I asked if there was another man:
I don’t have the time or patience to want or need someone else. I want to love myself, that’s all. I can’t give you what you need for a timeline. I can’t make any promises. That’s not fair to you or me. I’m not doing anything but working on myself right now. This is not all about you. It is about ME. There is no one else, no need for any of that. This is MY time. I am doing what I want when I want and how I want.
Hi Kittyfish, thanks for your insight on this. I checked cell phone records last night, and I didnt see any glaring recurring calls or repeated long conversations to any one number, many of which I recognize. Are you recommending calling any attorney because you don't believe thier is any hope? I have to tell you that I am not ready to throw in the towel, you know?
I checked my wife's cell phone as well and found nothing unusual. I am not so concerned about a current affair but her possibly having an affair now that our marriage is struggling.
Do each of your wives know that you have access to their cellphone/cellphone records? In my experience, there is a "secret affair cellphone" in about 25-30% of the cases.
Hi Kittyfish, thanks for your insight on this. I checked cell phone records last night, and I didnt see any glaring recurring calls or repeated long conversations to any one number, many of which I recognize. Are you recommending calling any attorney because you don't believe thier is any hope? I have to tell you that I am not ready to throw in the towel, you know?
I checked my wife's cell phone as well and found nothing unusual. I am not so concerned about a current affair but her possibly having an affair now that our marriage is struggling.
Do each of your wives know that you have access to their cellphone/cellphone records? In my experience, there is a "secret affair cellphone" in about 25-30% of the cases.
Then again, you don't want to hear that, so . . .
Puppy
Puppy I am sorry if you had a problem with an affair but that does not mean everyone else does. Why not focus on helping others instead of CONSTANTLY harping that it MUST be an affair.
Puppy I am sorry if you had a problem with an affair but that does not mean everyone else does. Why not focus on helping others instead of CONSTANTLY harping that it MUST be an affair.
Puppy has been on here a long time and has seen a lot. He is offering his experience, I would not disreguard his thoughts offhand. Unfortunately, Puppy is correct more times than not.
I offered that more for people who still have an open mind than to the two of you, who don't seem to want to hear it.
But OK. Good luck.
You seem to be the one without an open mind. You only have one conclusion to everyone's marriage problems.
Where I observe symptoms, I usually offer a prudent prescription, yes -- guilty.
I make no personal judgments -- I merely point out caution when I see certain patterns, words, behavior, etc., that would indicate a very high chance of infidelity. And I do so for specific reasons, which I've stated umpteen times on this site and won't get into again here. They are ALL for the poster's protection; I get nothing out of it, and I detest affairs so much that NOTHING would make me happier than to be wrong, believe me.
I will tell you that in several years on the board and well over 10,000 posts, I've only been wrong once that I know of.
Still, I don't want to be a source of pain or distraction to you, so I will bid you peace. If you'll go back and check my very first post to you, "infidelity" was NOT the main thing I was trying to get you to consider.
Puppy is a very wise man. We are lucky to have him here. I feel his POV is to "Be aware" and "Gain knowledge". I went though the process with "Blinders on" and FAITH. They are two of the many CHOICES you can make. We are here to offer choices. LISTENING is a skill to learn. "BEING RIGHT" is a subconscious behavior that does not work and one needs a 180 put in place.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
For what it's worth, here's what I can offer. In the ten years of my rocky M, including one brief separation 8 years ago, I could always feel that my W and I were still "married". We cared for each other, and our attempts to work on our M were sincere and appreciated by both of us. It was different last year when my W just seemed to be "gone". Nothing I did mattered. She just didn't seem to care, and something was fundamentally different in our interactions. She started disliking the things we used to do together, she started acting aloof. She seemed absolutely certain in her decision to leave me and get a D, with a cold detachment I found shocking, given we have three little kids. If I even mentioned anything about whether it was good for the kids, or that we should work on it, she just got very angry and attacked me. When I found out she had been having an affair for several months, all was made clear.
