Hope and heartache

[ClingingToHope]

Hey Sandi2 and Dia, question on how you ended up deciding to stay with your H's. I've not been very good at DBing. I know the concepts and I stick with them for a while. I've improved on listening. But four times in five months I've asked my W to consider counseling and each time she's turned me down more brusquely than before.

So I feel I'm back at square one and I'm frustrated. The last time we talked was 10 days ago and she said she would have filed for divorce by now if she had $1,200 for a retainer.

I spent the rest of last week researching low-cost or lower-cost divorces. I wrote my findings up in a letter, which is sitting on my desk.

What do I do? Do I give her the letter, put the ball in her court on a divorce? Or do I sit back and give LRT and NC at least the winter.

I've got a setup now where I don't have to see her much anymore. I can pick my kids up before she gets home from work and I can put them on the bus at my apartment.

They've been sick so we've had to deal with each other on child care this week. Otherwise, financially I'm in good shape. I've finally got a good social network going so that I'll rarely be sitting at home.

I'm asking if I should try to get her to get going on the divorce process because I don't want to date while still married or do I wait longer? I look at her now and just can't imagine the ice melting to the point she'd want to work at our R again.