I told her the night before last that I was uncomfortable with the way things were. It is hard to be chummy with her while she continues to make plans for walking out of our marriage. We are close for a little while, then she backs away. I was clear, telling her as nicely as possible that I was uncomfortable with this and it is getting frustrating for me.
I made plans to be out of the house tonight. She made a point to leave last night. She said that she figured that I would not want to be around her so she was going to do some running around.
She came in to tell me good night before bed, but remains withdrawn. She seems to feel bad for me and bad for what she's doing to our family, but obviously doesn't feel any sense of impending loss for herself. My cousin, who has been through this, says that W knows that she has an open door to come back so she wouldn't really feel that she's losing anything. She's getting to go play and feels that she'll be able to come back whenever she wants.
That's where the detaching and GALing comes in I guess. I can't really tell her that's what I'm noticing and she won't be welcome back (it would send her away with even more of a purpose) but I really need to do a better job of showing her that I am moving on.
I think that is the right attitude. Maybe you should try to find some single friends that you can hang out with on the weekends. Single people would be more available and it would give her something to think about. She does seem pretty comfortable with the status quo.
