LHSM I agree with you. Call me naive, but if W is telling me she doesn't love me while looking me in the eye, I don't feel like I will make any progress in getting it better if I push or snoop.
I may be wrong, but I don't feel that I can effectively move forward to any hopes of reconciliation if I don't have some trust. I get a pit in my stomach every time I read here that she must be having an A. I guess I am doing what I can to keep a smile on my face right now, and obessing on something I can't prove just makes me feel sick and untrusting..and unhappy.
Im not sure if my W wants a divorce, is secretly talking to a L or what. She hasn't mentioned it above and beyond what I've shared. I don't know if she hasn't becuase she is appeasing me with MC first. I just don't know! ugh.
You are almost a mirror image of me right now. I want to still trust my wife and she has not shown me any reason not to trust her.
She married young and I understand her need from some independence in her life now. Unfortunately I took her for granted too long and it got to this point where she needs to decide if our marriage can get better or will it just always be this way.
As far as her having an affair, my wife has a low guilt threshold and I don't think she could go this long without confessing to me about it if it were true. So for now I am ignoring any talk about an affair. If that does become true then I can hear I told you so.
I think right now I am trying to concentrate on making myself attractive to my wife again. Both physically and emotionally. It is difficult because I feel depressed and scared. I took the week of work so I could try to get my head straight. Last week at work I could barely function.
I hope you and I both have happy endings to our marriages.
