Hey R2C, thank you for the feedback and questions!!! The support I feel from you and others makes this bearable. I will admit that I have been here for a few days only and I am stopping to get DR today on the way home.
To your questions - I am doing my best to keep a good game face on at home (smiling, small verbal exchanges) without feeling like it's transparent, but not sure what she sees. We agreed in MC to not discuss our relationship between sessions. Not sure how I can tactfully provide some tough love with that agreement in place without blowing it. I feel like I'm hanging on by my fingernails...how the hell do you just stop loving someone after 14 or 15 happy years and realize you need to be independent? Is my wife having a MLC?
W and I are scheduling our own activities and going out around one another, so that one of us is home with our D. Seems to be working ok, as she predominantly goes to her best girlfriends house (mutual husband and wife friends) to drink wine and chat in the hot tub. I don't ask how it was, what they talked about, etc, unless she offers. I am also going out now, but gotta tell you it's hard and I'm not having alot of fun yet.
We are in the same bed. No sex since the bomb was dropped 2 weeks ago, and no contact of any kind in bed, but she hasn't left, or asked me to leave for another room. I called our MC this morning to ask if I was talking too much in sessions, as I have a tendency to do that (in my marriage as well...drive's my wife nuts, as she doesn't like to talk about feelings at all). MC said a little. Given that W says she doesnt love me and needs independence, and I want to work to repair our marriage and relatinship, MC is going to ask us our goals in counseling next week...I am afraid of what I'll hear and what to do with it. As I may have said, we haven't talked about D or S at this point. Did I say this sucks?
