She doesn't love me anymore...or does she?

[Ready2Change]

HELP! I am asking for input on how to continue to act around my W and still drive to positive results in reconciling my marriage.

Projecting that you are HAPPY with or without her is very important. Making as many positive change to yourself is also very important. Show these changes in your actions and appearance. DO NOT USE WORDS. Fake it till you make it.

We're in MC.[quote]Go to MC with as many 180's as you can. If you are a talker, LISTEN. New clothing, new hair style, cologne , Change your facial hair - clean shaven, goat( pick a style you like that is new). Focus and remember every word she says. While she is talking, look at her face, study it. Think about all the reasons she is beautiful. Enjoy her "right then and there" no matter what she is saying.

You can release your emotions when you are alone.


[quote] She is their willingly with and open mind, but has made it clear that she just doesn't love me anymore and needs independence.

Give her what she wants. Tough love is required. "If you love someone, set them free". The sooner you set her free, the sooner she can focus on HER issues and you can continue making your positive changes that will draw her back to you. "This is not what I want, but If moving out will make you happy, I will not stand in your way"

What is my best course of action around the house

Take your focus OFF W and do what makes you happy.

Here are things (rituals) I do that make me happy, take the list and modify it to your needs:

When I wake up, I lie there in bed and enjoy the feeling of my sheets. I stretch and enjoy how good that feels. I take 2 or three really deep breaths and enjoy the feeling of that. I have nice art work in my room that I really like. I look at it and enjoy that. When I get in the shower, I focus on all the good feelings while washing myself. The hot water on my body feels so good. I have several choices of shampoo that all smell different. Coconut this morning. It reminds me of the beach. I massage my head with the shampoo and completely enjoy the feeling. I have nice looking/feeling towels. I have 6 different colognes to choose from. My wardrobe is completely new and I pick clothes that look good on me and good together. (My choice, what every makes me happy that day). Anywhere from suit and tie to jeans and t-shirt. I enjoy listening to music. I turn it up and rock out in the house and on the way to work. I stop into Starbucks daily, I have close relationships with each member of the staff, I enjoy seeing them and hearing about their lives......

I buy nice flowers and arrange them in a vase on the table. I cut them down daily, exchange the water and they last 2 weeks.

as we're living as friends

Friends is a good starting point. I assume you want to be lovers. Do things for her that make you happy without expectations. Do not fear the future. live in the moment and do things that SHE WOULD NOT EXPECT. Do the flower thing (FOR YOU). If she asks about them, DO NOT SAY ANYTHING. Look at her in the eyes, enjoy that feeling and give her a smile. When she looks away, you walk away.

sleeping in the same bed

Is this working for you? SEX? Who initiates sex? Readup on turning a woman on. Try setting some boundaries or maybe give her some choice (All acceptable to you).

"I know things are not ideal right now. I feel we have a couple options that would make our situation more comfortable for me. The first options is for you to move out of OUR bedroom and sleep on the couch. The second option would be to snuggle in our bed and fall asleep together."

How do I best respond when she says she's going out,

Happily say "Have a great time!"

how do I best tell her I'm going out without sounding spiteful or phony?

I am going to do XYZ. Whould you like to join me?
I am going out. Bye!