One more thing ... Retrouvaille turned things updside down for you emotionally due to your expectations and I don't blame you. Looking back now and seeing what you are going through makes me realize I went through the same thing - I was hoping it would make a big difference and it didn't so I was very frustrated (and then later busted her EA after about the 3rd post session).
The thing Retrouvaille does is give you HOPE that any M can be saved, but the catch is that both partners need to have the DESIRE to do it and they state that very clearly. It is one of the key ingredients that they talk about. I think there is a chance for a WAS to gain the DESIRE as a result of going to the weekend, but it is a toss-up. It depends what they are dealing with going in I think.
My W admitted that she had no DESIRE and that she didn't want to have to CHOOSE anything (as in love is a decision - her emotions were sending her in another direction). I then tried to 'force' her to decide in one way or another and it completely failed.
Only now that I have disengaged with her do I think there is actually a chance to save our M, but I am OK if it doesn't happen (but feel bad about the family breakup for my 4 kids).
ME/XW:47 S21, D19, S15, S14 M:21 T:26 W moved 6/10 I filed 7/10 D final 4/12 remarried 8/12 W wants to R 12/10 and 4/11 but I decline
