I don't see it as contraversial, that's kind of how I felt in my own M, to me he had checked out first Emotionally, but I think I misinterpreted his actions (making a long story short), and that was, at least, part of the problem anyway, but then I W'd A so I see what your saying here.
Positive message here (see I'm learning ; )... Letting the our Ex's take the lead has left me with my dignity and positive changes. It's difficult hanging back since my personality is one that sees a problem and wants to fix things right away.
