JCJ - sorry I haven't been over to visit you in a long while. I didn't really have much to add as I have been in such a funk - not that I have much to offer now but I wanted to catch up a bit on where you were at.
I'm sorry that for all your efforts, you have decided to go through and prepare all the paperwork. I do think that it must be right for you though as you would not have done so otherwise. You are a shrewd operator and you have evidently given it much thought - to have taken this action, you have put so much in and decided that now, enough is enough. It must still hurt though - I know that the love does not just disappear overnight.
You have been GAL'ing and working things out for yourself and Maple and I agree that now it's time for JCJ - you have so much more ahead of you ... I just know it!
I'm guessing that you are starting to get excited for your trip and I hope that you will see it as the path to your new future - Good Luck with it all JCJ - I wish you such a lot of happiness and may you find love which will fill all of the holes that have been left in your perfectly good heart.
As a by-the-by, I have found a fencing class fairly close to home and was thinking about it - you seemed to really enjoy it, didn't you? Would you recommend it?
(((JCJ)))
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Sigh, I took a massive leap out of my comfort zone today with h and basically said said no (without using the actual word) to him today which feels very weird and strange.
He emailed me as he had received news that bailiffs were about to be sent round to his house regarding money outstanding on the house insurance (it was one of the bills that he did not call to cancel when we sold). I had cancelled the direct debit as I was paying it (with no contribution from him although by rights he should have been) but could not cancel the policy as it was not in my name. I knew he would not cancel it but felt it was no longer my responsibility to spoon feed. Anyway, he had not received the warning letters as he had not forwarded his post to his new address and now it had reached the bailiffs. He emailed me to ask me for half towards the bill (£50).
I wrote back and in the nicest possible way said the fairest thing would be to offset the £50 against the various monthly credit cards and insurances which I paid in full since he ceased to contribute to the ongoing expenses in November 08.
I don't know what he will do with that, or whether I should have just given him £50 for an easy life (which is what I was inclined to do) but I am sick of being a pushover. This is so out of my comfort zone it is untrue, but I have been so nice about everything, I could have caused a huge stink about so many things and I just kept quiet.
I don't know if I am venting or what. I don't really know if it was the right thing to do but I felt like he had a cheek to ask me for that and to call him on it I guess it was a 180.
P.S - Nell, I definately recommend fencing, it is so much fun!
Good for you Julia. It's about time you stuck up for yourself with him. He will face the consequences or go running to his parents. You are not his 'safe harbor' and you have no reason to bail him out. He has some balls anyway asking you for 50GBP. Seriously? That's a drop in the bucket compared to what you paid out that he was half responsible for, right?
So again....GOOD FOR YOU!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Yeah, I worked it out that it was over £500, perhaps I should have been firmer in making him pay but I did email him several times. I just dropped it for an easy life and I had the bigger goal in mind for splitting the house money.
I hate confrontation though, in any situation. But if he was a 'normal' person, I would have no qualms. It is because it is him, and I think he probably knows that.
I hate confrontation though, in any situation. But if he was a 'normal' person, I would have no qualms. It is because it is him, and I think he probably knows that.
I tend to avoid conforntation as well, regardless sometimes as to the impact it has on me. However I've learned the hard way that all this does is cause people to not respect me (specifically my stbxw) and does not allow them to understand the consequences of their own actions.
