Wife out till 3;30 in the morning

[Steve McQueen]

Hope for the best but plan for the worst.

I definitely would not describe my marriage as THAT.

Steve,

Please allaborate.

Thanks,

JJ

Hope for the best but plan for the worst. is a cry of desperation. desperation is not attractive.

this is a marriage not an industrial accident. your hand has not been severed off and hanging on by skin. carrying your hand into the ER to have it sown back on is not attractive either. why live your life with that attitude?

you need to change your attitude. this is a marriage you want to save right?
why not -

This is the best but I can deal with the worst.

now, honestly, you are dealing with an uphill battle. Your Wife is out till 3;30 in the morning. thats not good. that is a woman who is out enjoying herself to all hours of the night without her husband (and probably with another man). Last I heard the comiserate committee no longer holds there meetings after midnight. so her and her buddies are not sulking over a draft beer. They are out enjoying themselves and waiting to see what comes along.

then theres,

Up until this april. I was an emotionally and physically abusive husband

you know if your wife came to this site discussing her physically abusive husband, she would probably be advised to GET OUT of that situation. I am sure her friends who she is staying out late with told her just that and probably are doing alot more to solve that dilemma. so you need to work on that, seriously.

5 months of not hitting your wife or messing with her head isnt that long in the grand scheme of the fact that it did happen. I hope you are seeking help. Because hitting a woman is a seriously very awfully bad thing to even think about doing. and to do it well... you shouldnt have no matter what the situation.

but back to your new attitude. you may never convince your wife that your changes are forever. you cant even make one mistake; one slip up and she really should get out. IMHO. but you can make the package worth thinking about. This is the best. I am married to the best possible woman. This is great. That needs to aura that surrounds you at all times. Else, its just a $hitty situation with a guy who physically abused me and is now cheap with the money.