Well, RMC...I did confront him. I gave myself a day to think first. I reminded myself that there could be logical reasons for what I was seeing (including the cell-phone guy's theory that the calls showing were from last year but had not been paid off). I listened to everyone here and thought about how, even if H did talk to XOW, there could be explanations that did not necessarily mean continued infidelity. Going off in a rage at Wolfie, before having all of the information, would be counterproductive and I wouldn't want to be treated like that if I were in his place.
I treated him the way I would have wanted...I showed him what I had found. I asked for an explination. I told him how I felt about seeing those calls on the bill and where my wildest imagination could take me to. I told him that I was trying to take what he says at face-value, but that I really struggle sometimes.
I didn't beat him over the head and tried hard not to put him on the defensive. I was prepared to any explination he gave me. If I say I would rather have honesty (no matter what) than secrecey and lies, then I'd better walk the talk, right?
Yes, I my first reaction was to be shocked, and hurt and furious. I have learned a valuable lesson--to come here and vent and be a big old drama queen here if I need to rather than going off on Wolfie before I think things out.
I am also prepared, if I ever need to, to say "I love you with all of my heart and don't want to spend the rest of my life without you. If you continue to be unfaithful, I would rather be alone than be in a sick relationship, so leave".
Personally, I do love my partner, but I won't hide my head under the covers--to know that he's lying and/or betraying me again. I'm no martyr and I have too much self-respect to live my life like that.
