The truth is that it is Thinker that is sounding and acting like the victim here.
He has been talking about his EXTREME anger since the Retro get together.
He failed to mention that "little part" about the VIOLENCE (yes pulling your wife's arm against her will IS violent)until SHE called him on it...
He is being selfish.... He is basically telling her "you aren't doing the work.. If you did the work you would love me or we could work this out.. do what I want. Do it my way. If you would do the work and quit being a victim we would be happy".......
"Give me what I want. Give me what I want. What you want is not important. You are in a fog. You don't make sense. You aren't doing the work. I have tried and tried. I have been compassionate and opened up.You won't talk. You keep blaming me. You this and you that...."
I can see why this isn't working....
She sees and feels nothing but pressure. She is correct in being scared of a man that is sounding so angry. He told us he was so angry that he saw "red" and wasn't thinking clearly. Of course he conveniently forgot to tell us on this thread about his "grabbing her arm and pulling her three feet into another room AGAINST her will, even though she told him THREE times...
Thinker has much much much more work to do. Much more...
Let her go... What that means is that YOU initiate the separation and the divorce process. It is THEN that she may start to believe that you are done. It is THEN that the pressure is off of her to "feel" what YOU want her to feel and act the way YOU want her to act.
