Some interesting things to note from last night. Feedback appreciated on any:
When I got home from work last night, I purposely kept myself busy away from wife. Nothing special - just reading in bed while she was watching tv downstairs. She came to bed a short time later to read as well. When I got up a few minutes later, she thought I was leaving room and said something like "you keep running away from me tonight". I said "actually I was just going to remove my contacts and go to the bathroom". No big deal - but worth noting.
About 5:00 am she woke me up because she thought she heard someone in the house. False alarm, but since we were lying there unable to go back to sleep, I figured it was a good time for the apology. I think I said it well, but there was no response at all and keeping dbing in mind, I said nothing else.
Later I asked how she wanted to recognize our 17th anniversary next month. We agreed that going to dinner would be fine, but as for going to an inn for the night, her response was "don't you think that's a little romantic?"
All that lead to a brief R talk - the first one in about 7 weeks. Following are a few excerpts - somewhat out of context.
Wife - "I don't feel like having sex with you. That could change, and I don't mean to be hurtful, just honest". Me - no response
Wife - "You can have sex with someone else if you want. You are my pseudo-husband and I am your pseudo wife". Me- no reponse To me sounds like the comment from someone having an affair of some type - but not sure.
Wife - regarding physical contact of any kind - "You will get the wrong impression" Me - "How do you know that? - You have no idea how I think"
Me - I think lately things feel different - more relaxed Wife - "yes, more free" I think her using the word free is certainly of note.
Various comments I remember...
Me - I have the right to sleep in my own bed - if you don't like it, you can sleep elsewhere
Wife - we could be kinda married for 10 years
Me - yes we can afford for one of us to rent an apartment, but I am not leaving my house and kids
Me - there are laws here - we need to be separated one year before divorce
End result of conversation - we will continue to be "pseudo-spouses" in the same house until at least June - end of school year. So...it looks like I have 8 months to apply db skills before separation and in that time we have our anniversary, and annual XMAS vacation in Mexico which should be times to focus on the good.
Also, the conversation remained calm and neither of us went away angry - at least not showing it.
Wife and I may not see each other much until Sunday, but the next couple of days will be interesting. I will really try to "read" her.
