I still don't have any real answers about the cell phone bill. I called the phone company and asked about it. The guy I talked to said the bills were all computerized and it is very possible that the "new charges" were actually old charges that haven't been paid off yet. He said he'd research it for me and call me back & could even let me know the date the phone was actually turned off. That would answer my questions.
I agree that it was a good conversation with Wolfie, and I do see that he is trying very hard. I don't think I could ask much more from him. It does frustrate me that it seems to take a crisis sometimes to get to the point where he will really communicate with me. He completely misses my attempts to start a conversation (such as when I asked him if he was happy). He says I need to be less vaugue about it.
He did agree with my request that we set aside time for R talks and even read some books together.
Last night, when I got home from work--Wolfie and S20 were in the back room playing video games together. I watched for awhile because it really warmed my heart. There was a time not very long ago when I wasn't so sure we'd ever be a family again and I had strong doubts that those two would ever be able to have a relationship again.
It's a philosophical question though, that is making me buggy: why does this stuff keep coming up and being hung off the end of my nose? I don't believe in a vengeaful Christian God--we have our own beliefs and way of understanding spirituality. We believe that everything happens for a reason, even if it isn't clear at the time...
I have been right along side many of you while going through ups and downs in this Piecing process. I keep wondering though--why these things keep coming up that reopen old wounds and cause me to seriously question if the A is still ongoing.
First it was the XOW's old IM's popping up when I installed a new messenger program (that one still cuts deep), then the guy at his work gossiping that the A is still going on, then my kids thinking they saw Wolfie driving around with XOW in his car, and now this with the cell phone bills.
I did go looking when I found the cell phone bills, but why do I have to keep going through this crap???!!! Normally I would think that things are being hung off the end of my nose to give me a message, but the doubts don't jive with what I'm seeing in Wolfie and where our R is today.
I feel like I'm being tested or tortured or something.
Anyways, I know that I wouldn't be able to have the strength to deal with times like the last few days without all of you. You don't know how much it means to know you are there.
