I'm an abusive husband verbally and physically in the past. What I learned about my self was an abusive mantra that kept me in this cycle. Worry-->Fear-->Anger--->Control. This post was quoted from a post from you on October 3rd or fourth i don't remember.
Originally Posted By: Thinker
But I don't have much patience right now. Reaching the end of my rope.
Fear: I am really afraid that things aren't going to change. That this R will just never be good. That the weight of the R will always be on me. That I will never get out of the role of Saviour/Scapegoat. That even if things reconcile, that I will just end up right back here in a few years when she pulls away again - a few more years lost to a bad R.
Anger: I hate the absolute apathy I get from her recently. Her attitude says "I don't care if you are in my life or not, just don't interrupt or bother me."
You are ramping up inside the cycle. You are compressing the spring soon you wont be able to control where it goes.
Next post coming
H:37 W:34 D11,S8,S6 Together 19 years M:10 Bomb:4/09