Hope and heartache

[ClingingToHope]

Hey, W finally called and asked if I was feeling OK. Of course, the real reason for the call was that we found out D7 has lice. So all of the weekend plans are up in the air.

Life is never easy.

[mishka422]

Life is never easy.

Amen.

What part of GA are your friends in?

[ClingingToHope]

Just venting here.

Dragged myself over to house to meet D10 on the bus. Took her into work to talk to boss about D7 having lice. Got a little work done. Joked with people about how you can't miss work even if you have surgery.

Then boss, who I like, tells me her superiors have noticed how much work I've been missing. It's true. I've been home a lot the last month because the girls keep getting sick. I've missed work because of the girls before, but the difference this time is that I haven't been all that productive when I have been at work with the home situation falling apart and people are noticing.

Still, I was a little indignant considering I've spent my recuperation day working on state school testing data for the newspaper -- I'm a reporter.

We worked it out. In the end, I told her I'm in a better frame of mind about the M and eventual D and should begin writing more stuff. But I am in a tough spot with the kids because the W is so focused on her job, she'll sacrifice me and the kids if necessary. I told her about the day W, rather than taking off work, left a 10 year old home alone.

So the boss understands my dilemma. I'm still good there.

I go to the house to get D10's swimming stuff. W is there with lice stuff and is getting ready to wash D7's hair. I tell her I was chastised for missing so much work. She said she knows, but then she starts saying, well, you haven't missed that much. One day two weeks ago, a halfday last week, a halfday this week.

I've missed more than that and she's missed 1 1/2 so far. Still, it strikes me that I'm taking another day off tomorrow -- although I'll be writing a story for the newspaper and emailing it in and she will be working. And she hasn't said thank you. Not once so far this year.

Because of the surgery I'll let it slide. The next time they get sick though, I'm calling her on it. It does me no good if they get down on me at the paper. I'm in line for the next promotion if I don't blow it.

[ClingingToHope]

Mishka, I have a friend in Atlanta and one in Acworth, which she says is north of Atlanta.

[ClingingToHope]

Wrap up to an interesting day. W calls. She needs Dawn to get the vaseline out of D7's hair and the vacuum cleaner back. I grabbed it Monday.

I, of course, am not supposed to be lifting anything or moving around much. Still, I go to the store for the Dawn. D10 helps me lift the vacuum cleaner up the stairs and I take the stuff over there.

At least W takes the vacuum cleaner from me when I get to the house and says Thank you for the Dawn. I give D7 a bunch of hugs and head out.

At least D10 get to hang out, although I did work and she did homework. Now she's reading to go to sleep.

What a day.

[awest1217]

Definitely a crazy day! If you are going to be paying child support, you should not be taking off so much. W wants to be the main caregiver so she should be taking off at least just as much if not more. If you are going to be taking off and having the girls the most you should be the main caregiver because it looks like you are having their best interest at heart, not your own. I definitely agree with making W stay at home or at least finding someone else.

Hope today goes better and you have a great weekend with your girls!

[ClingingToHope]

It's going to be tough. Had to put all of the stuffed animals in plastic bags. Hannah has lice. She hasn't been here for 9 days but the experts online say a nit could survive up to 14 days on stuffed animals.

So I'll have a Nintendo Wii and some other toys to keep Hannah occupied while I try to get some work done from home.

Yes. The longer we're separated the more I see that we'll have to spell out in the D agreement. D10 was telling me W already made plans for Thanksgiving so they are with me. I didn't know that. That's my weekend, but I don't have Friday off so I'm not sure what's going on.

I'm just in a bad mood. It's been a long week. My payoff for a week like this won't come for several years when my daughters are graduating college and thanking me for always being there.

[ClingingToHope]

Bit of a surprise. W is staying home with Hannah to give her another lice treatment. Means I can work for once. Shocker really.

[ClingingToHope]

Thank God I don't work from home. I'm sitting here working on banking stats and keep thinking about the times when I did get sick and how W would take care of me.

I miss that. She was even good about it last year when nothing else was going good for us. She was happier when she could take care of me. I rarely let her do that.

Oh well.

[ClingingToHope]

Hey Sandi2 and Dia, question on how you ended up deciding to stay with your H's. I've not been very good at DBing. I know the concepts and I stick with them for a while. I've improved on listening. But four times in five months I've asked my W to consider counseling and each time she's turned me down more brusquely than before.

So I feel I'm back at square one and I'm frustrated. The last time we talked was 10 days ago and she said she would have filed for divorce by now if she had $1,200 for a retainer.

I spent the rest of last week researching low-cost or lower-cost divorces. I wrote my findings up in a letter, which is sitting on my desk.

What do I do? Do I give her the letter, put the ball in her court on a divorce? Or do I sit back and give LRT and NC at least the winter.

I've got a setup now where I don't have to see her much anymore. I can pick my kids up before she gets home from work and I can put them on the bus at my apartment.

They've been sick so we've had to deal with each other on child care this week. Otherwise, financially I'm in good shape. I've finally got a good social network going so that I'll rarely be sitting at home.

I'm asking if I should try to get her to get going on the divorce process because I don't want to date while still married or do I wait longer? I look at her now and just can't imagine the ice melting to the point she'd want to work at our R again.