I only have one little snippet of advice to add....
Your D17 is going to follow your lead. If she sees you taking this as the "end of the world", she is going to be right there with you. If she sees you strong and confident, moving forward with your life, that's the model she will follow. Sometimes you are going to have to put on you act "as if" shoes. Show her that his stupidity doesn't have to ruin your life, or hers. Because it doesn't! Keep putting one foot in from of the other, you are going to be appreciated one day. You are going to find that there are men who can actually respect women. And you can keep, and even magnify the respect of your kids.
You are a good person, with a lot of opportunity ahead of you. Take these lemons and make some lemonade!
