Anyone out there have anything to say about the "how long to wait" in terms of a SA going on as well. I was Bombed in July of this year as well and moved out (couldn't afford the apartment on my own) in late August, went dark on Sunday, but there's an affair going on. When I moved out I didn't have proof it was an SA and W was denying it was even an EA. Since then she admitted it was an SA before I moved anyhow.
istilllovemywife - I would just say one or two things about your sitch... I know you want to be in a place of less ambiguity and feeling safe, loved, etc., but be careful with the approach of looking at it and saying
Quote:
I want to spend time with someone that wants to enjoy my company... find someone else to be with...
Just be careful that you're not looking to fill a gap/void and not first finding true joy in yourself.
My IC told me that when he was much younger, one of his Spiritual teachers told him his problem was that he didn't know that "Giraffes don't F elephants." When my IC replied that he knew that, his teacher said, "no, you don't. See, you want to be a giraffe, but you keep F-ing elephants." The message to me was loud and clear, that I am very dedicated to having my head up high and seeing far in front of me, living in a place of grace, as a "giraffe," but my W might not be at that place right now. Going forward and GAL I need to make sure that I'm a giraffe before I choose my next partner or I'll end up choosing an elephant. Likewise, should my W decide that she wants me in her life and drops the OM, we'll probably have another go-round at all of this later on unless she sheds some of the elephant and adds more giraffe. Make sure you make this about you and get to a place of "giraffe-ness" before you focus on having someone else in your life, that's my advice.
All right, before I start getting job offers at the zoo...
