What to do, what to do?

[courts0818]

Ugh...I'll start with the work around the house - I'm not sure why they do it. The outside stuff has always been my H's thing. Is it guilt? IDK...he doesn't seem to feel guilt about anything else. Does yours? Why would he give a rat's behind if the lawn is mowed? He deosn't see it much anyway. In all the time we've been together, I've never mowed. ha...that makes me sound lazy, but I'm not. He always mowed, swept out the garage, took care of the outdoor plants and I did everything inside - which ends up being a heck of a lot more work. I remember last winter asking him to show me how to use the snow blower bc we kept getting inch after inch of snow. Before I know it, I'll be out there again trying to figure it out. : (

That is interesting that your H is volunteering information. Hum...How did he respond in the past when you asked him questions about his plans? My H would act like such an a**. He would get all crappy and tell me it was none of my business. It would fill me with INTENSE, HOT ANGER.

Just the other day he made some comment that he was at a football game on a rainy weekend (a weekend that I didn't see him). I caught myself before falling into my old habit of asking with who, etc. It surprised me that he decided to tell me what he did.

Being secretive is good! You have him wondering!

I'm so sorry that your stepdad is acting like that way. Okay sorry, but...boo hoo, stepdad. Get over it. He had his feelings hurt? How about YOUR feelings? If you can work towards forgiving your H, how can he not? That's really unfair to you and your girls. I realize that going to the fair might be a little uncomfortable or akward for your mom and stepdad, but this isn't about them...it's for their granddaugthers! I truly wish he could see that. Would what he say to your daughter if she asked him about going? Hum...bet stepded wouldn't want to hurt her by saying, "I'm not going bc your daddy is a jerk."

And then the whole Thanksgiving issue. : ( I'm sorry. My sister gets that same kind of attitude about my H. I guess they love us and care about us and feel like we deserve better. At least that's how my sister looks at things. She told my H off in a text message about a year ago. Thankfully, she's been nice the last couple of times she's seen him.

Anyway, the concern our family members have for us doesn't make it okay - since we are not in unsafe marriages, they need to support us. It's like what I said before, they need to forgive our spouses since that's what we are trying to do. How is holding a grudge ever going to help?

Again, I'm sorry. I know how frustrated and disappointed you must be. I'll be praying you, me and the rest of the people on here trying to save our marriages.

((((hugs))))