((((Tal))) Deep breathes! I really like the idea of saying you found the phone bill and see that he was still in contact with OW but not accusing him of still being in contact. Tell him how much you love him and want the R to work, and then ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED! Getting rid of the cell phone is a great first step on his behalf to prove he doesn't want to be in contact with OW anymore...so ask him to do so! Do think through your (absolutely valid) anger and take your time...if that solution isn't one you want to use...come up with your own or ask for ideas here, but take some time. Don't jump without first thinking things through. Maybe OW was still contacting him and pressuring him, even though he broke it off. He can not control others. You don't know for sure ...and he is at home with you again, so ....try to find a positive way to approach this very sticky situation....I know it's got to hurt lots. My heart goes out to you.
I do also know that I have had some phone calls from old drinking pals and had to ask that they not call me anymore. I don't have a cell, just home phone, but a few of them came at very bad times and H knew something was up. I had to be honest and tell him that it was gal pals from the bars calling...wanting me to come out. What they really wanted was someone to buy drinks (me) nothing more. Once I figured that out, it was easy to tell them not to call...but at first, it sucked. Anyway, maybe OW is calling him and H is trying to dissuade her. He may be nervously checking voice mails to see if she is still bothering him....
or maybe he is still seeing her.
The only way to find out is to attack the situation with a PMA. You will be ok no matter what. You are strong, intelligent, beautiful, and worth loving. You are kind, considerate, and thoughtful. H definitely needs to acknowledge his part in things, too.
Sometimes, we need to carefully strip away the scabs and let the wounds reheal, especially if they are still infected and need cleansing. This may be your chance to do just that.
Hugs and prayers and lots of positive thoughts.....Colleen
